Failure!!

I am 70, I have failed thousands of times! A wiser man than I once said, "Either I win, or I learn!" I have felt that way all my life. Thomas Edison failed a LOT while inventing the electric light bulb. I remember a cartoon of Tom Edison looking out the window of his laboratory, on the second floor. and the pile of failures higher than his second floor window. His assistant came in the door and said something like, "No luck yet, Mr. Edison?" His assistant knew he would never,ever quit! His mother needed an operation to save her life and the kerosene lights did not give enough light to operate at night.

My first crusade was bringing troubled teens to Christ about 28 years ago. I was the maintenance department at Oasis Youth Services in Manheim, PA. It was started by Manheim Churches. Many people asked why I was helping Pastor Jim. They said a lot of teen hoods hung out there. DOH! Those same people think why should we help kids not get into a life of crime. It is way cheaper to train teens than to wait until they commit big crimes and put them in jail. 

Mary and I took our three kids to whatever program they wanted to get in. Girl or Boy Scouts, soccer, baseball, basketball. I pulled the kids every year for Manheim parades, for 15 years. I used my service truck. I was an electrical contractor. Burned out 3 clutches over the years. We took the kids to scout camp when the astronauts were there. We camped in the woods, it was 100 degrees in the shade. We help the grandchildren too. Mary is now helping our granddaughter learn parallel parking so she can get her driving license. The second granddaughter will be there in about 2 years. The 8 year old grandson, we get a break for 8 years. LOL

Failure is a great humbler. The first wheelie I did with my first motorcycle, I started on my bicycle at 12  years of age, I was arrested on my Honda 90 for disorderly conduct on a motorcycle. $35 fine. McDonald's was a hangout, and everyone loved to drive under the golden arches. I did a giant wheelie thru the golden arches.

I failed with Mary, I was too pushy because I told her we would get married and have three kids. She freaked out and broke up with me. Eight months later she came back. I know I grow on people. Like a bad rash, I am hard to get rid of. May 20, 2019 we celebrate 47 years of wedded bliss. Change that to Mary putting up with me!

Mary and I both told our kids they can be anything  they want. Laura born 1973, works with paraplegic individuals, she followed Mary into nursing. Tim born 1979, is a Doctor of Childhood Sociology, Autism, for a big firm near Philly. He works out of his home. Jeff born 1983 works at LA Ronald Reagan Hospital, in the Clergy Department. Jeff is  Jeffery Lloyd Caldwell, named after my Father, Lloyd Sylvester Caldwell. I am so glad Lloyd got to hold his Grandson/namesake before he died in 1983. He had high blood pressure all his life.

I have it too. Mary got me on blood pressure pills in 1973. I am jealous of the people who die slowly and can visit their families as they are dying, can say goodbye, and I LOVE YOU. Lloyd had the main blood vessel that feeds the brain stem explode at 9:00 PM on a snowy night. About 3 weeks before he died I hugged him, picked him off the floor and said I LOVE YOU. When we got to the hospital his brain stem had already died. The emergency room Doctor remembered me from one of my failures on the motorcycle. He said the man you know as your father is gone. How long do you want his body to suffer? The brain stem is the man you know and loved, now he is gone. My mom Edith was in no shape to decide, we 3 brothers said let him go in peace.

I am 6'2" , I  was strong physically all my life. All my life I teared up at sad movies and TV. I was terribly mad at GOD for taking Lloyd. He was the first family person I lost. I did not talk to GOD for six months. My greatest failure. 

If your kids fail, recite to them "I win or I learn". They will realize life is a learning experience, and learn to no matter how often they fail, as long as they are still breathing, they have another chance to try; NO, MAKE THAT DO!!

My motto for lloydsrides.org is "I will never, ever, never quit until the tally is Every 24 hrs 0 PTSD Suicides!! Our brave heroes must not die by their own hands."  SEE lloydsrides.org

Fly Over?

There was a road behind Millersville College that if you hit the first peak around 60 miles per hour, you would fly to the second hill, jumping about 60 feet. All the local bikers knew about the thrill of jumping there. Weekends the police would hide during the daytime to catch us. At night it was easy to jump and get away.

I mentioned to a group of fellow bikers about jumping about 4 or 5 in the morning. Only one officer was cruising that late. There were no houses close so if we jumped and took off it was easy to not get caught. We worked out a plan. I was best at jumping, if you pulled up on the handle bars you got higher. I always pulled up when I would pull wheelies, you got more straight up.

We would go at first light.The guys said about 5 guys would take pictures. Both sides of the jump and landing spot. I of course, my bi-polar brain always going a million miles a second, said, "How about one guy lying in the low spot in the middle and snapping a picture as I jump over him". They said a big YES!!

We used two more guys to watch any cars getting in the way, or if I crashed they would prevent me or the guy lying on his back in the middle of the road from getting run over. Now I had an inkling of what Evil Knievel felt before his many over 100 foot leaps.

Finally THE Saturday morning arrived. Bob tuned up the "Quarter Hawg" so it ran good. I prayed GOD let me do this and live. I did not know HE had many better uses of my talents later in life. We stayed up all night, caffeine and nicotine kept us going. About 10 bikers converged on the road. A couple rode around checking for the nightly patrol. No cruisers within several miles, it was a go. I do not remember who was there, but the volunteer that would lie in the road, I told him to take lots of pictures.

He laid down on the road, the side bikers took position in the middle of where I would fly. In Glen Moore Circle was a hill with a manhole cover. You must hit about 50 miles per hour and you would fly about 30 feet, the hill went down the other side, it was a hard landing, and fork dampers and good shocks were years away.

That is why Evel Knievel crashed so much. But like a dedicated biker he kept jumping. I think he had 7 or 8 crashes over nearly 300 jumps. But the misses are very painful. I was 18, nothing can happen to me??

The lookouts signal was GO, I revved the tac to 10,000 RPMS, and dumped the clutch, my tires screamed. We glued the tires to the rims, soft rubber gave good traction, but slid the tire about 1/8 of an inch each takeoff if tire not glued. Yes in 1966 there were only tube tires. The tire moved and pulled the valve stem out. A flat at 80 MPH meant instant road rash.

I did not look at the speedometer, I knew how fast I was going by the tac as I went thru 1st, 2nd,then 3rd gear. I figure I was going over 60 MPH, Evel did well over 100 MPH, and his takeoff ramp threw him VERY high. I saw the last guy standing at the takeoff point. He would point at the guy on his back when to start hitting the button. His camera would take multiple pictures.

The guys on the sides started taking pictures when I took off. I remember the feeling on takeoff. Yes, I am an adrenaline freak! I do not remember flying, but the landing was hard. There was only about 3 inches of rebound in bikes then! I do not know what happened to the pictures. Maybe some old guy somewhere is telling his great grand children, this is Hoss, a real dare devil. This is the worst life risking stunt I did so far.

Please do not tell Mary, she would say, I believe it. Almost 47 years nothing I did or do stuns her. Lloyd, my dad, raced the train to the crossing, the train ripped the tire and back bumper off his model T. That same model T they used to drive across the iced river in York,. Whoever did not break the ice and fall in, car and driver won. Guess where I got my craziness from??

Yes, GOD had better plans for me. Marry Mary, have 3 great kids, we lost one at 2 months in the womb. Help all three with education and 2 get houses, so far.  I think of all idiot stuff I did. THANK YOU GOD!

It's a Man's World??

Since the beginning of recorded history, females have been placed as second class citizens in history by the dominant males. We men are larger, stronger, and (smarter) than females. (Smarter)?? We think so. Yes, we are larger, stronger, but far from smarter. We men start wars, take what we feel is ours, whether it is ours or not. Most terrible criminals are men, remember females have 1/2 of the male in their makeup. Some females have more male than female in them and are as bad as us men.

Mary my wife of almost 47 years has been the boss of me since we decided to get married in 1972. Because of her controlling our money, getting pregnant 4 times, she wanted 4 kids, but we lost one in the second month and making good judgments we have had a great life together.  I always took no crap off any man. Like the song, the bad guys knew me and left me alone. But the females I never said a bad word to. We are not rich, but live comfortable because Mary keeps the finances, and makes all the decisions.

We give a lot of money all our life to help others. Our donations lifetime about $20,000. We helped our 3 children get good  learning, getting their own house, and getting great jobs. Mary went to Nursing School before we met. I learned Electrical work, classes and on the job. I always made more money than Mary until about 2000. She finally started getting the  good wages ladies deserved, because there was a shortage of Nurses.

When I retired, 10 years ago, Mary was making about 30% more per hour than I was. Did I feel threatened, NO! She continued working till she was 69 years of age. January 2018 she quit working all together, 52 years as an RN charge nurse.

In 1972 when we married she was delivering babies. 2018 when she retired at the retirement home she pronounced people dead and helped load them in the silver Astro van from the undertaker. The same van we bought from the Chevy dealer as a used van!

I worked 2 jobs when younger for 15 years. Mary worked 2 or 3 jobs when we needed it. Our 3 kids started working, Laura at 14, Tim at 16, Jeff at 16. Now Laura followed Mary into Nursing, she helps para-pleasic  bound people in their homes. Tim will be a Doctor of childhood autism soon. He works from home, and teaches the parents and teachers how to deal with the autism children. Doctor Tim. Jeff works in California at UCLA Ronald Reagan Hospital in Los Angeles. He is working toward teaching the new Pastors in the Clergy department. Doctor Jeff? People tell me I must be smart and passed it to my kids. I answer, luckily they got the great genes from Mary for smartness! The ability to never, ever give up comes from me!!

Many years ago, Randy, I don't remember his last name, why I remember his first name, I don't know LOL. Wrote and sang a song condemning short people, and people were up in arms. If you really listened to the lyrics, the last stanza, it finished with, short people are just like you and me!! He is sarcastic like me. I hope you understand this RANT!

randysravings was Marcy's idea. She knew me about six months, said I need a place to blow off steam. Another very smart lady. Thank you Marcy! When Mary can't stand me any more, she says get your motorcycle and ride, she knows that is my release.

Bob got me a sign that reads, "you never see a motorcycle in front of a shrinks office", because I go to the motorcycle cruise ins for  lloydsrides.org  I heard on a TV show if you kiss your significant other on the lips everyday you two will live longer. If we two have no colds, we kiss every morning. We deserve a longer life than 70 years. Thanks to Mary I have a great chance of living a lot more years.

Carl & me!

  I met Carl thru some guys I knew at the Lititz Twin Kiss. He raced cars, circle track. We both were under 21 years of age. We both liked beer. We were friends immediately. We were both daredevils! We should not have run around together. Two males desiring kicks and alcohol. The first time I picked Carl up at his parents farm, we were going to get beer. He said his dad was a part time cop in Manheim, but don't worry his dad could not smell. The line of first defense is the cop smelling beer on your breath. When Carl opened the passenger's door to hop in, several empty beer cans fell out. Luckily his dad was not around.

  The second time I picked him up, his license was suspended for a long time, it was on the bike. He really dug two wheeled motoring. We ran the loop route a while. About 1:00 AM We was returning thru Manheim to drop him off. We took a shortcut thru a corn field. My bike just fit between the corn plants. They were above our heads. I came out of the cornfield about 200  yards  of road before the all night gas station. I blasted thru the island of gas pumps about 60MPH, hit the back brake, spun around and did a wheelie back beside the pumps. We got off, the old man just stood by the door stunned! I finally hit my kill switch. Now he came out. He said I  rode cycle like I was crazy. I did not argue the point! Many others said the same thing. He said he was not coming out till I shut off the motor. With my no baffle mufflers he could hear me coming a half mile away. 

More later!!

April Fool's Nite!

The people who lived along the Lancaster Loop Route hated us loopers. They gave the police a hard time because they could not stop us. Whenever the police could arrest us for something they were happy. Drag racing in the city bounds was the coup de grace! It meant jail time.

I never raced till after 2:00 AM and not on weekends, Just one block, to about 60 miles per hour. As I was geared super low in my car and cycle I could beat everyone I raced.

When you came to Liberty cross street on Prince Street, there was a gas station on the right, the other side of Liberty Street. The police would park a box truck at the parking lot big enough to hide a Police cruiser behind it. Stopping at the light to get ready to race we could not see the cruiser till we were laying rubber under full power. Then they would have us.

A biker friend stopped at the place we gathered and said the man is in his nest! We all knew what that meant. I said anyone want to join me for an April Fool's joke? I explained what I had in mind. One guy volunteered to be my henchman.

We went on a slow run on the loop. It was about two hours since we had checked for the trap. They did not know we were already there when they set up their trap. We went past the loop cut over, the alley where later Kathy that summer slid down my broken sissy bar. We went two more blocks so we came out on Prince Street at Liberty Street. We started revving our engines and shouted trash talk like "I will blow your doors off". That's hard to do on a motorcycle. Young & Dumb Moment!!

When the light turned green, we lowered the RPM's and pulled into the intersection like a normal ride. The cruiser was already pulling out to bust us. We waved to the officers and laughed.

They pulled us over just in case our paperwork was not right. Both Officers said, I guess you guys think you are smart. We both said, smart enough to not race in front of a Police Officer! They told us GET OUT tonight! We DID!!

Score one for the loopers, zero for the Officers. But my time was coming!!

Another Kathy Story

After Kathy and her sister Barb patched my left leg from the accident that Kathy & I survived, I healed. Barb's husband Butch was 23 years old. If he had been caught with me he would be arrested for giving alcohol to a minor.

Kathy had Mike's 1964 Ford convertible. He worked second shift. He did not  have his license either. We rode around with the top down. Kathy was driving, Barb & daughter Donna 2 years old up front. Butch & I were in back. There were no child seats then.

We stopped and Butch and I went into Helen Weaver's bar. I went in with bikers a lot. They knew me. I was 19, but they did not ask for my driver's license. It was suspended. I had nothing with my age on it. We drank about 4 or 5 beers. When the girls came back we heard the horn and left. We piled in the back seat again.

We drove around a bit, Butch wanted a sub, so we headed for Speed's parking lot. Kathy stopped, Barb got out, so did I. Kathy did not put the car in park. Her foot slipped off the brake, She hit the gas, with the front wheels turned. Butch was thrown out under the front wheel, his lower leg two bones broke. I helped him back into the car and told them not to mention me with Butch. I did not want him to go to jail because I was with him drinking.

I flagged down a friend, said I needed a ride home. The next day the police showed up where I worked. They took me in the board room and questioned me about the accident. They figured we were drinking. They knew I was under legal drinking age. They said where did you get beer, from Butch? I said no, Helen Weaver's bar. Everyone knew they serve anyone who comes in. They let me go. That was all I heard about  the incident. Another learning experience. Another colorful part of my past. I visited Barb and Butch every two or three days to see if they needed anything

I found Barb and Jane on December 1, 2018. Kathy died years ago. Lung cancer from cigarettes.