We started dating Thanksgiving eve 1970. Mary looked troubled when I met her in the driveway at my parents house. She came in, it was cold the beginning of February 1971. We talked and made out. But I sensed something was wrong. She went up to bed early.
The next day we talked again. She never talked much. I talked too much, still do. When I said about going steady she looked horrified. I could not understand, when we kissed she enjoyed it. Not today. Finally she said she is not sure if she wanted to grow old with anyone. I said are you seeing someone else. She said yes! My heart cracked. She said she was sorry, but she was leaving early. She said, don't call me, I will call you. She said you are planning our wedding and life together. She said she never met anyone like me. She never went steady with anyone, and things were going too fast.
The girls I ran with on the Loop Route, I never took as my girl friends, We never made out. I never touched any of them. A couple girls said we could date if I stopped drinking so much. I did not realize I was pushing her so much. This was the BI-POLAR taking over in me. When I was with Mary, I was HIGH. Even sober I was up. Now I was deep down,the suicide part of being BI-POLAR. How could I go on. That night I ran to cry on Jon's shoulder. Jim's mom was there. Jon said she would find what was the matter. Mary never told her why.
The next day we talked again. She never talked much. I talked too much, still do. When I said about going steady she looked horrified. I could not understand, when we kissed she enjoyed it. Not today. Finally she said she is not sure if she wanted to grow old with anyone. I said are you seeing someone else. She said yes! My heart cracked. She said she was sorry, but she was leaving early. She said, don't call me, I will call you. She said you are planning our wedding and life together. She said she never met anyone like me. She never went steady with anyone, and things were going too fast.
The girls I ran with on the Loop Route, I never took as my girl friends, We never made out. I never touched any of them. A couple girls said we could date if I stopped drinking so much. I did not realize I was pushing her so much. This was the BI-POLAR taking over in me. When I was with Mary, I was HIGH. Even sober I was up. Now I was deep down,the suicide part of being BI-POLAR. How could I go on. That night I ran to cry on Jon's shoulder. Jim's mom was there. Jon said she would find what was the matter. Mary never told her why.
I did not think of dating ever again. I met Ed, starting to run the loop with him. His girl about 20 miles away had a friend that his girl ran around with. Ed knew what happened with Mary. He and his girl decided to pair us up. Ed asked me double date? I said yes. I still wanted Mary. I met Vicki, the four of us went to an outdoor movie. Eve spent a couple hours in the back seat of a Camaro in the heat of July? When we headed home to drop off the girls, I was so stiff I had trouble getting out to say goodbye. I said thank you, not wanting to be too pushy. It already cost me the love of my life. I did not try to kiss her goodbye. Ed and his girl swallowed each other's tongues. On the way home Ed asked; do this again, I said yes, just not your car again!!
The next week we used my Comet Convertible, more room front and back. Vicky said I thought you did not like me, no goodbye kiss or nothing. I told her about the cramps from 2 movies in that little back seat. I took Vicki down to Bob's house in Vineland, on my bike.
Coming down the Delaware Bridge I was in the right lane. It was 10:00 Friday night. I got highway hypnosis, I drifted toward the middle lane with an 18 wheeler there. When the tractors rear tires touched my and Vicki's legs, that brought me out of my trance. Luckily the tractor driver did not hit his air horn and scare me. That can make you swerve and get sucked under the tires. The rest of the way I kept changing what I was looking at to stay alert.
With my race bike I fell asleep too. I ran a stop sign for a T road, crossed a two lane highway and into a corn field, I still cannot believe I did not dump. (Now I understand why HE kept me alive. To start Lloyd's Rides.) I hoped coming home would be easy. Wrong again.
About 4 miles from Bob and Steph's house it started to rain light. No windshield OK. I was tough. Vicky had said earlier that she wanted to come home thru Philly. That was about 20 miles out of our way. No biggie. Half way to Philly it started raining harder. When we got to the outskirts of Philly it was horizontal rain, so hard I had trouble keeping my helmet rain clear.
Philly roads were closed, we had to backtrack, several more roads closed. We ended putting an extra 50 miles on our trip. When I gassed up and paid, the paper money in my wallet stuck together. My drivers license lost all the printing, because of water, I had to get a new one. My boots were filling up with water. They were High biker boots, the water was coming in through the stitches. They were new, I had not waterproofed them yet.
I was worried about Vicky with all her allergies. We made it home, took warm showers and I took her home in the car.
Coming down the Delaware Bridge I was in the right lane. It was 10:00 Friday night. I got highway hypnosis, I drifted toward the middle lane with an 18 wheeler there. When the tractors rear tires touched my and Vicki's legs, that brought me out of my trance. Luckily the tractor driver did not hit his air horn and scare me. That can make you swerve and get sucked under the tires. The rest of the way I kept changing what I was looking at to stay alert.
With my race bike I fell asleep too. I ran a stop sign for a T road, crossed a two lane highway and into a corn field, I still cannot believe I did not dump. (Now I understand why HE kept me alive. To start Lloyd's Rides.) I hoped coming home would be easy. Wrong again.
About 4 miles from Bob and Steph's house it started to rain light. No windshield OK. I was tough. Vicky had said earlier that she wanted to come home thru Philly. That was about 20 miles out of our way. No biggie. Half way to Philly it started raining harder. When we got to the outskirts of Philly it was horizontal rain, so hard I had trouble keeping my helmet rain clear.
Philly roads were closed, we had to backtrack, several more roads closed. We ended putting an extra 50 miles on our trip. When I gassed up and paid, the paper money in my wallet stuck together. My drivers license lost all the printing, because of water, I had to get a new one. My boots were filling up with water. They were High biker boots, the water was coming in through the stitches. They were new, I had not waterproofed them yet.
I was worried about Vicky with all her allergies. We made it home, took warm showers and I took her home in the car.
SEE next post for the rest of the story!
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